12 • 20/01/2021 • 11:30am
listening to: depeche mode - dangerous
watching: anything by agnès varda
reading: ~

again, an almost 10 days break from writing here, it's ok, i'm still trying to go easy on myself, i'm still drawing a lot with charcoal (postin almost everything on my twitter and/or instagram) and as you can see, my depeche mode phase hasn't passed yet, i almost didn't listened to any music this week cause i was watching a lot of movies, especially agnès varda's ones, her short movies are amazing, my favorite so far is 'salut les cubains', a documentary about cuban revolution and a little bit about the country's history, only with images took by agnès on her trip to havana, so good, my god.

my father is on a trip right now, he's really interested in motorcycles and his dream was always to make a big trip to another countries in america latina, unfortunately, because of the covid thing, brazil's borders are closed, so he decided to travel inside brazil, i know he's somewhere far far away from where we live but he seems to be having a good time, i wanted to stay a while in his house alone but after the second day i felt so lonely lol, i came to my mother's apartment but things are not as good as i wanted to be.

i don't know, i'm ~starting~ to have my doubts about art, i don't wanna be that person that had already finished an art inclined course and always talks about how they regret it, just like my cousin, she always said i was prohibited by her to do cinema, cause it was too painful to live working in cinema in brazil, i wonder, will i be like that if i manage to finish art school? living with an minimun wage working as an pre-school teacher hating my job and regreting not finishing architecture, i'm still pretty young so i think, wouldn't be ok if i did my best to finish architecture and go to art school in like 2025? i will be a lot more mature i hope and hopefully i'll not starve :), idk, is it worth? the thought of 'i'm only 19' is easily mixed with 'i'm ALREADY 19', and on top of that my therapist extended her vacations until february 2nd lol.. anyway i'm working on a few changes on my movie page, i'll try to make a film log and make a little review about every movie i watch, it's gonna be tough but i'm down to this challenge, and hopefully develop a little more my writing skills.

tvxq's yunho made a comeback a couple of days ago, he's one of my favorite artists and i'm really happy that he made a comeback with film inspired mvs, the title track, thank u, is obviously inspired by hong kong and yakuza cinema, and i love both so much, the mini album is great, still not better than 'true colors' (which is a 10/10 only for this) but still, anything that makes me see yunho and changmin is something to make me happy lol

kisses!
11 • 11/01/2021 • 10:41am
listening to: depeche mode - never let me down again
watching: twilight saga
reading: given

last week was great, my friend came over to my house and spent all week with me, we watched movies, she cooked a lot (i just love your food so much ana (/▽\*)。o○♡), and drank too lol, it's sad that she already left, but i'll keep the memory of this week with a lot of love..

today i woke up feeling like shit, in contrast to the amazing week i had lol, i was hungry, there was no one home and the house was extremely dirty, i always clean everything but today i felt so irritated, i ended up sleeping all night and came over to my dad's house, he's gonna travel in a couple of days and i'm thinking about spending some time here alone, i wanna paint and draw a lot in this time, i just think i'm gonna miss my pets a lot :(

i'm in a HUGE depeche mode phase, i'm just so h***y for dave gahan, it's weird to write that down cause usually i'm not much of a sexual person but i'll try to change that in 2021. enjoy the silence, never let me down again and photographic are my favorite songs so far, i'll try to listen to their entire discography, and tbh i feel like they are gonna be my 2021 obsession, usually in january i get into something that i base my personality on the entire year, it happened in 2018 with darkwave and dreampop, 2019 with teresa teng, 2020 with kylie minogue, and possibly 2021 with depeche mode, i don't like being like this but i can't help it lol

i don't have a lot of things to say this week, i think everything that i want to say it's best to say to my therapist lol (next week!! fingers crossed), the good thing is that i'm taking my medicine every day!! i haven't skipped for a few weeks now, i can see the diference but i still feel very apathetic, it can be for the use of acohol and weed in the past week, i also skipped gym today, so i think all these things are leading to that.. but everything will turn out fine i guess

kisses!
10 • 02/01/2021 • 01:12pm
listening to: depeche mode - enjoy the silence
watching: ~
reading: random bls

happy new year everyone!! i hope this year is gonna be better for everyone, personally i don't know if i can take another year of pandemic.. my first day of the year was pretty bad, i got really drunk because a couple of my sister's friends came over and i got really excited lol last time i drank with friends was like 7 months ago i guess, but anyway i'm kinda better now, just hungry, yesterday it felt so much like a sunday so today i'm like what?? it's saturday?? my brain is not processing it right i guess.

i took some time out from painting and drawing, i'll spend some time on my mom's place so i guess i'll need to get my supplies, i really don't want to fuck it up this time, i wanna get better!!! i got some money so i'll probably go shoping next week and get a couple of new paints, a acrylic medium and some canvases, my friend was supposed to come to my town this week cause my dad was gonna give her a ride but today i woke up with the news that she wasn't awnsering her phone, so i don't really know what's going on, i hope everything is ok

i'm obsessed with 80's british synthpop, enjoy the silence and a little respect are on repeat on my apple music, i love enjoy the silence's atmosphere, it's so dark and at the same time electronic, they really blended the two genres really well.. also, i'm reading a couple of bls, i read 'ao no flag' after i finished 'blue period' and i needed something 'similiar' to read, not my favorite manga but i really liked the first half *SPOILER ALERT!* i really didnt liked the ending, what the fuck? they are just gonna show one page of them together without even explaining what happened after 54 chapters? anyways, i also read 'go for it, nakamura', really cute short coming-of-age and totally relatable for any queer person i guess, even though i didn't had a similiar experience on high school lol, i totally remember the feeling of finding some guy cute and not really understanding what was going on.

it's been a while since i last worked on a page for this site, i uploaded my movies page a couple of weeks ago and i haven't been working on anything else since D:, but i want to make a page for horror movies and for mangas, i also want to update my playlists! omg i made so many stuff for this site in such a short period of time it's kinda crazy, i just need to manage to update them more frequently, for the manga page even though i haven't read many mangas my experience with it is being great, i want to talk about how i started reading and my favorite ones, also, i got really into bls, i never really liked and read/watch bls cause i thought it wasn't "accurate" (so stupid lol) but i don't really care now, i just wanna read cute stories with people discovering themselves and having cute romance stories, i'm so needy lol.

anyways i think that's it, this entry is not so long but i just wanted to wish everyone a happy new year, i'll try to update my diary more frequently even if that means i'll not make long entries anymore.

kisses!
9 • 24/12/2020 • 02:52pm
listening to: miyuki nakajima - keshou
watching: ~
reading: blue period

it's been ten days.. omg i think that's the longest i've been without updating my diary, but that's ok i just didn't felt like writing this sunday so i decided to skip a few days, right now it's christmas eve, i'm on my mother, we're gonna spend today here and tomorrow on my father's house, yesterday i didn't took my medicine so today i'm extremely dizzy and i feel like i got a hangover, i think i already talked about this on here, it's the worst feeling ever, i just had a little friction with a neighbour and i'm already a little stressed/irritated/anxious on christmas eve, that's great, i hate this kind of stuff omg, anyways, i'm gonna try not to absorve this.

i finished the existent translated chapters of blue period, my heart is shattered, i have a bittersweet feeling when i get this emotionally attached to a story, it happened this year with avatar tlab too, but it's kinda amazing how a manga reminded me of how much i love art and how much i love to learn new stuff, i feel like my plastic bubble just popped and now i want to do so many things, i feel like i'm back in 2016 again except now i have much more knowledge, so i know myself much better then i did back then, i had so much drive to learn new stuff and i wasn't affraid to make mistakes and look dumb (cause i really looked really dumb lol), i'm having tons of ideas for paintings and things i can do, i wanna learn art so bad, even if that means i need to move to another town and make stupid decisions, tbh i'm still a little hesitent to just drop architecture out of nowhere, i know architecture is such a rich course and i have so much to learn and areas to work with but i just think that's not what i want and need for my life, at the same time i think i'm taking college way too seriously and believing it's gonna change me interly when in reality it's me the one that needs to change and look for knowledge myself, not relying on teachers and university.. i think something that is proving this is my instagram account, i literally posted 8 photos this year, and 3 of those photos were taken this week (follow me btw!). SEE i told you i'm getting way too emotional attached to blue period i HATE this it makes so many thoughts popping in my head, i just wanna live without thinking i wanna be an amoeba.

anyways, miyuki nakajima is incredible, i'm kinda binging her discography (currently addicted on aishiteru to ittekure) while reading her lyrics on this amazing site, her lyrics are so sincere and powerfull, i can feel the sadness on her voice, i think that's what distinct a singer-songwriter to other type of artists, since it's her who wrote the lyrics i think she can relate a lot more to the lyrics she's singing to, personally my favorite is 'おまえの家', in this song she tells the story about a woman that's visiting her ex-boyfriend and all the thoughts that pop into her head while seing how her loved one changed so much over the years, even thought i never had a relationship in my life i can kinda relate to that, from times when i visited old friends of mine and various thoughts passed throught my head, it's something like 'i don't know if i used to be like them, or they changed, or i changed, or we both changed so much over the years', i don't know if that's the best way to describe this.

something i spent my time this week is making gifs for tumblr, i discovered this program called vapoursynth and it makes things sooo much easier, since photoshop can be really slow and irritating to work with, not to mention that the quality is amazing, i made a few and posted both on my main tumblr and my stan tumblr, i really liked how it turned out and i don't really care if it didn't had much notes lol, i think that's it for this ~week, lol i wrote a lot today, every week i tend to write more and more on the same period of time, i think i'm getting used to this, i usually take about 1 hour to write one entry and that time is really precious to me, it's like a self discovery time, i know i'm probably writing things wrong but i'm not worried about that, my goal here is not to get better in english, it's to understand my thoughts better and share things somewhere, twitter is too public for that and a physical diary is too tiring/personal, i think this is the perfect place for this, i can write publicly and at the same time i don't think anyone is reading this lol.

kisses!
8 • 14/12/2020 • 10:03pm
listening to: jessie ware - what's your pleasure?
watching: big mouth lol
reading: blue period

i did the bucket hat! it was garbage! today i spent the day alone making it so i was a lit disapointed but that's ok, i don't expect to be great at my first try, my day was pretty shit but my weekend was good! which is rare, most of my weekends are shit too, i'm still reading blue period and the more i read and search about art school the more i want to drop architecture and move to visual arts, i really don't know what i was thinking, maybe i thought i was gonna like architecture one way or another but turns out i always liked arts so.. why change right.. i spoke with a few art students from brazil so i can understand a little bit about how's the course here, i don't feel much confident only researching from gringo sources, and i feel really safe asking questions to other students... it really makes me think about my friend from architecture that said she just knew art would be my thing, but i don't wanna create high expectations cause what if it doesn't work..

the interests page is up! i'm so happy with how it turned out, i think the music page looks really cute hehe, i still need to finish writing my movie recommendations but the coding for the movie page is already done and it's really pretty.. ok so after writing a bit i can finally make this blend with all the writing so not everyone can read lol, i'm really in need of a boyfriend right now.. i'm not usually the type of person that is always like ohh i want a boyfriend or anything but i saw a video yesterday on twitter and omg 。゚(。ノωヽ。)゚。... i want what they have so bad.. i wanna dance with someone on the kitchen while listening to whatever you know.. idk maybe it's cause i'm kinda down right now.. i have someone i like and i think he likes me back but i'm way too shy to make any move.. anyways gonna eat glass now.

i think i'm gonna travel in christmas, my friend asked me to go to her house on christmas and both of my parents are fine with it so... but i don't know yet, maybe i'll talk to her about passing the new year's day so my sister can come with me, it'll be fun, i really like to see her on the end of the year, last year it was pretty amazing, i always have so much fun when i'm with her.. i miss going out and partying (╥﹏╥), this is year was suposed to be my redemption year but corona happended so.. but i have a feeling next year is gonna be better! the vaccine is almost out and i just KNOW everything is gonna be fine.. not even another pandemic can take 2021 from me.

i managed to watch one (1) movie lol, it was like father like son (2013) by hirokazu koreeda, it was great i really like his films, they are really calm and it reminds me to take my time and just live my life without much worries, i'm also listening a lot to jessie ware's new album (what's your pleasure) omg it's SO good.. my favorite tracks are 'what's your please', 'save a kiss' and 'step into my life', but this type of album i switch my favorite songs all the time, i pretend to make a page of my favorite records of 2020 in my music page, but first i need to update more stuff hehe.. anyways i think that's it, it took me more then a week to write here again but this weekend i was way too relaxed to try to write about anything hahaha, but i noticed my entries are being longer each week, i guess i'm getting used to writing :D.

kisses!
7 • 06/12/2020 • 11:56pm
listening to: t.a.t.u. - how soon is now?
watching: kamikaze girls
reading: innocent rouge, blue period

after a few emotional breakdowns this week and a therapy session i'm doing actually fine, my therapist said i need to take a few weeks off, even thought i don't actually do anything with my life i demand too much of myself and at the end of the day i end up doing nothing and feeling worst then i was already, i failed the only subject i'm doing in college and i felt like shit, but it's ok i'm gonna get over this soon i hope, i realized my dream of doing art school is still not over so i think i'll try to take the tests to see if i can get in the only good art school in my state, i regret so much not studying and aiming high after high school, but i don't wanna write about that anymore..

i started learning how to sew! after i found a few amazing sites with pages about clothing and fashion i became so interested in sewing, i always complain about how clothes never fit me and i never find things i want in stores, but i never realized i could actually learn how to sew and make myself my own clothes, a neocities site that really inspired me was incessant pain :D, i made a mask with my mom's help (the machine is hers lol) and i'm super proud of how it came out.. it was hard at first, my stitch would always get crooked and i had to undo everything and redo, but after i got the hang of it it became pretty simple actually, i wanna try to make a bucket hat that i saw in a youtube video, the only problem is that the machine is on my mom's house and everytime i go there i feel so strange, i don't know, there some things there that make me feel kinda unconfortable.

i'm creating a new page for the site! it will replace the 'stan' page (i already took it down btw), it will feature all my interests and a lot of text hahaha, it will also have a collection, review and favorites page for my music interests and a different page for my movie recomendations and reviews and more! (i hope) :D, i'm pretty happy with how it's turning it out, the site is almost completing 2 months and i'm still working hard to make everything the way i want, it's a really good sign cause i usually drop the things i'm doing in one/two weeks.

i wanna try to come back into wathing movies, i was talking to my friend yesterday about it and i really miss it, i watched kamikaze girls today and oh my god, sooo good, i loved all the fashion choices made on the movie, but momoko's outfits are so amazing, i can totally understand her character just by seing her style, i never watched an anna tsuchiya movie but she definetly impressed me, the movie moves so fast but it doesn't feel tiring at all, seeing momoko sewing makes me more exited to learn more and more about sewing (ღ˘⌣˘ღ), i started watching like father like son (2013 hirokazu koreeda) today but i couldn't finish it, anyways i think that's it for today, i'm trying to include more pictures on my diary page, i just think it's fun lol


kisses!
6 • 26/11/2020 • 01:48pm
listening to: lily chou chou - arabesque
watching: ~
reading: innocent rouge

i wanna get better but i don't know how

this week started really weird, i woke up on monday and there was no one at home, i felt like i got a hangover even thought i don't drink nor use drugs for at least 6 months, last week i started exercising again and it's been... good i guess, it's really tiring and my coach is really tough.. but i've been dealing well with it, the last couple of days were really depressing for some reason, so many negative thoughts have been popping in my head, i know they don't make any sense but they're still there, i don't know how to describe it.

my therapist gave me a questionnaire about my life and it's so hard, my memory only goes back to 2017 i guess, earlier then that i only have like flashbacks about some things that happneded, nothing special, it has so many tough questions like "list your 5 biggest fears" or "i feel guilty about ____" but it really got me thinkings about how much i don't know myself, i don't know who i am, what i really like, what i want to do or how i want to do things, i guess things can get better after some time going to therapy, but it's hard cause it's only 2 times at a month.

i don't wanna write stuff here only when i'm sad or depressed so i'm going to talk about what i've been doing! not much tbh but i'm learning a new song on the keyboards and it's been kinda magic to see how i've been improving even thought i don't practice a lot, i really don't want to give up this time, i want to go as further as possible, i also painted a bit, i really liked how this turned out, it's juyeon from the boyz, their photoshoot for the last album was amazing and had really interesting lights, so i decided to paint this one since i really like how the shadows hit his nose, i didn't paint the mouth cause it was too hard and since it's only a study i don't wanna worry too much about that.

now back to the depressing thoughts lol, i've been watching a lot of drum covers recently and omg i miss drums so so so much (。╯︵╰。), tbh my band experience was not the best of all time so after we split up i kinda got dispirited on learning drums, playing indie was such a curse in my life omg i hate this genre of music so much right now, i can't even listen to a strokes song again without wanting to puke, there were so many things i could've learned when i had the oportunity, i should've learned all the kate bush discography or something, instead i got so stuck to what the band was proposing that i totally lost what i really liked to do and got really frustrated, now i don't have a place to practice my acoustic drums nor the skills i had before.

anyways, that's it i guess, i haven't write for more then a week (not really what i wanted but ok), writing is hard but it's good, i'll try to write more
kisses!
5 • 14/11/2020 • 02:36pm
listening to: isao tomita - arabesque no.1
watching: ~
reading: marginal, one piece and vagabond.

so another week has passed, it was pretty intense but i feel like i needed a little shaking in my life, i cried a lot the other day and it was good, it's been a while since last cried, i don't know why i'm so bad with emotions.

my looking for a job is progressing in baby steps, i'm doing a few curses on linkedin learning so i can have a few certificates on my curriculum, i applied for a job at a shop near by and i'm already thinking about how my life would turn out if i got it, i know i'm not gonna get it cause i have no experience at all and my curriculum only has competencies but idk, i'll do my best, i want to be able to afford a japanese class and buy my cds if i want to, and also use my time for something other then looking for random websites on neocities (not that i don't love doing that lol)..

yesterday a good friend of mine that lives in another town would come to my house and we would drink and eat doritos with guacamole but she unfortunately didnt make it :( i was really sad, i don't see a friend of mine in almost 8 months so it would be nice to talk to someone and have fun, but anyways, things like that happen..

right now i'm reading marginal, by moto hagio (again) and omg it's so amazing, i love how she creates a whole world in just a few chapters and it doesn't feel tiring at all, i'm also listening a lot of old idols lately, like yukiko okada and kyoko koizumi, i'm spending a lot of time in the idollica site (it's so funny lol) on the wayback machine (perfect website), it's fun to know a little bit more about the idols i like.. btw tried to update the site a little by adding a photo of mine and a gallery page, i really liked how the gallery page turned out and i'm waiting to add more photos to it! i want to add photos that i took in 35mm a few years ago (i actually have a film roll that i finished like two years ago and didn't get the pictures developed yet so i don't have any idea whats inside, i'm really exited about that)

i'm not really in the mood for writing right now i feel like i don't know much what to write (different from my last 2 entries that were kilometric) so that's it for today i guess, maybe i'll make another entry this week if i feel like it.

kisses!
4 • 05/11/2020 • 01:25pm
listening to: kylie minogue - supernova
watching: ~
reading: the heart of thomas, marginal and vagabond.

omg it's been more then a week since i last updated the site.. i feel like i'm letting it go a little bit but i'll try my best so i can finish this and update my diary as much as i can! cause it really makes me feel good when i write stuff and upload my stuff in here, it's almost... therapeutic.

october has ended! :( so sad omg, my favorite month of the year, i love spooky season sooo much, i try to watch as much horror movies as i can, i managed to watch 21 movies in spooky season, it was less then last year but that's ok, my goal is not to watch like 50 movies, its just to have fun and watch things i enjoy.

i just finished a bunch of mangas that i was reading, it was great to finally move on, i was reading only them for a couple of months and it was starting to get boring ~so boring i stopped reading for like 2 weeks in the beggining of october~, but now i'm reading vintage shoujos, i've been really interested in that, expecially the moto hagio ones, her style of drawing is so iconic and pretty, i can see why she's one of the most popular vintage manga artists, i've only read like a couple of chapters but it's so good omg, i'm planning to read a few iconic vintage shoujos and start the clamp ones since they are so popular too..

i also read shimanami tasogare and it was a singular experience, i was so emotional devastated and had so many thoughts in my head about it, i wrote a few notes in anilist so i thought i would share it here:

that hurts.. for reminding me that i can live calmly and i don't have to take life so seriously, i can live things on my own time and i don't have to rush things, things don't need to be extreme all the time and even when things are bad they're good somewhere in the world. beautiful beautiful beautiful.

btw, i'm really happy that i changed my therapist and now i'm with a great one, she's so kind and thoughtful, it was really a shock in my first session when she didnt touched her phone at all, so different from my older one ~who sometimes even sent voice messages to students and colleagues in the middle of the session~, i have a feeling that this time my treatment will go well and hopefully i can start finally lowing my medicine after 3 years taking pills every single day, the only problem is that her session is really expensive, so i'm trying to apply for a job so i can see her every week instead of two times in a month, it would also be good so i could use my time a little better and have a routine, fingers crossed so i can get a job soon!

i feel like i don't have much to talk about here so sometimes i'll just write random stuff, i'm ok with that..

kisses!
3 • 10/25/2020 • 01:48am
listening to: iu - the visitor
watching: friday the 13th
reading: nana, one piece and innocent.

it's been a couple of days since i last updated but that's fine, as i said my days are pretty boring i don't do much, i'm getting used now to my new hair lol it's pretty weird and i still try to roll it in my fingers but they're too short for that..

i decided that i want to organize my life but i've decided that many times so idk if this time is for real, it sucks that i think like that cause it's not very motivating... but i'll try my best, i want to try to find balance between doing what i enjoy for fun and studying, i've been having a really hard time in quarentine but i realized how life is not suposed to be over.. if i'm careful i don't think it should be a problem for me to enjoy things with my friends without feeling guilty, i get so scared of going out, i haven't seen most of my friends in more than 7 months, tbh idk if they're my friends or colleagues but that's other story, and i don't have much problem with that.

i just whatched the beggining of a vlive that kevin and chanhee ~from the boyz~ made a couple of weeks ago, chanhee makes me realize that i'm someone that can live in peace and with no rush, i'm still young, i can take care and enjoy my stuff, i want to try so many things, i want to learn japanese, mandarin, russian, drums, keyboard, architecture, anatomy, shading, painting, history, filosophy, political theory, i want to read books, mangas, comics, graphic novels, poems, chronicles, but i also want to watch movies, tv series, animes, i want to listen to rock, pop, jazz, prog, edm, i want to stuff more than my head can take in my brain because if i have all that reference i can be someone better... but i don't have to. i want to detox, i want to get rid of my vices and live a normal life, i want to live a normal life so bad, i just want a routine, a small time that i feel happy for resting, i want to be so busy that i don't have time to think about stuff minor stuff that's happening in 4 days and how someone will react when i say something and projecting their thoughts in my head, but at the same time i'm thinking "how dare you think you're so special" but i'll not elaborate on that.

i know that in a couple of years i'm gonna look at this and think omg i was so stupid, but it makes me think about what i'm doing here writing in this html editor on neocities, finding things to write about can be a little ~hard, so i thought today i'll just write this bunch of stuff that has been marinating in my brain, i don't think anyone is reading my posts and that's ok, i just want to throw what i'm thinking somewhere, this got really long, but who cares?

kisses!
2 • 10/22/2020 • 09:53pm
listening to: hamasaki ayumi - depend on you
watching:~
reading: nana, one piece and innocent.

so today i dyed and cutted my hair!! i used a photo of taeyong from nct as a reference and the lady cutted it too short D: but the color looks really nice, i like how its kinda multicolor.. it has differents shades of blue on it, if i take a good selfie i will upload it here haha..

i also started my first shrine! it's not going how i thought it would go but i still got time so i'm not worring much about it, it's for ayumi! ~spoiler!~, she's one of my favorites artists ever, if not my favorite, her songs are so unique and she's able to get every style she likes and put it into her music without souding out of place, i just love her so much omg.

i think that's it.. my day was pretty bland cause i spent it on the salon hahaha, i don't have much to talk about, but thats ok!

kisses!
1 • 10/21/2020 • 01:57pm
listening to: crystal kay - ex-boyfriend
watching:~
reading: nana, sakamichi no apollon, one piece and innocent.

hello! this is my first diary entry, it still is a little awkward to try to write a diary in english and on the internet where anyone can see it but idk, it's fun, i've been wanting to write about my life somewhere for a while now, i've realized that since my interests are always changing i can easily forget what i was into in the last couple of months or so, so this can be a little time capsule and hopefully i can see this in a couple of years and remind of my times in quarentine...

what i've been into the last couple of days is basically html, i've been spending a lot of time into this site and i'm actually happy.. my life is kinda boring tbh, i'm only making one college subject ~revit~, and it's quite simple so i don't really have anything to do with the rest of my time, i decided to take a time off from college cause since the quarentine started things got really messy and everything i had against my university got even worse, so i decided to take my time and come back when this mess is over ~but idk if it's gonna ever be over D:ּ~

i'm also reading nana! i read parakiss last month and got really addicted to it, it's amazing, i love how ai yazawa write her stories and all the references she puts into it, parakiss' fashion references and nana's punk references are amazing, i've known about nana and parakiss for quite some time by now cause my sister is a huge fan of both, i never really got interested in this type of manga until now, i'm really happy i took some time to read it :D

i was gonna write more but i just realized how big this post got lol, i don't mean to write so people can read it i just want to have a oportunity to put my thoughts somewhere, so i'm not too worried about the size, anyways if you read it until here.. thanks ? lol.

kisses!